


Teach Me

by tom_the_holland



Category: British Comedy RPF
Genre: M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:25:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23350123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tom_the_holland/pseuds/tom_the_holland
Relationships: Jon Richardson/Original Female Character, Russell Howard/Jon Richardson
Kudos: 10





	Teach Me

Jon was sat in the kitchen table. It was 6AM and he had a gig in the afternoon. And then a date.

This was Jon’s first date, and might be his first kiss. Maybe even his first time. He was only 20, it wasn’t a big deal, but he was terrified that he would be bad.

Russel was 23 and Jon knew that Russell had done all of those things before. He had the room next to his, Jon heard it frequently. Should he ask for advice? Tips? No, that was a terrible idea.

Russell came into the kitchen in his PJ’s. “Morning.”

“Morning,” Jon replied. Russell rinsed out a coffee cup. Russell flicked the kettle on and Jon mustered up the courage. “Russell,” Jon asked.

Russell turned around. “What’s up?”

Jon didn’t really know how to phrase it. “I have... a date tonight. After the show.”

“Oh, cool.”

Jon had expected a better reply than that. “It’s... my first date.”

“What, really?” 

Jon regretted asking.

“You want dating advice?” Russell asked, sitting down next to Jon.

“Yeah.”

“What don’t you understand?”

“Any of it,” Jon sounded pissed. “I don’t know any of it.”

Russell explained the basics of going on a date and as he got to the end of his story, Jon asked, “what then?”

“Well you either come home alone, bring her home or go to hers.”

“How do I know?”

Russell laughed, “it’ll just happen!”

Jon hesitated. “And... how do I...?”

Russell understood. “Aah. I guess that makes sense if you’ve never been on a date.”

Jon started to blush.

Russell was still drunk from the night before so when he stood up and started miming having sex.

“I don’t have a... condom,” John said.

Russell went to his bedroom and took a condom out of his pack. “Put this in your wallet.”

“I don’t know how to... put it on.”

“Pinch and roll,” Russell chided. He continued miming having sex.

“I know to... do it, I just don’t know how to do it well.”

“Well,” Russell didn’t really know how to explain it, “take your time, do loads of foreplay, and make it... not bumpy.”

Jon looked confused. He twirled the condom packet in his hands. “What’s foreplay?”

Russell felt like the worst sex ed teacher ever. “Basically just kissing her everywhere, sucking a little bit, licking et cetera.”

Jon rubbed his head. There was so much to remember. “I haven’t even kissed anyone yet. I really don’t know what I’m doing.”

Russell looked at Jon. “Stand up.”

“Why?” Jon asked.

“I’m going to teach you how to kiss.”

“What? No.”

“Come on! Do you want to be a terrible kisser?”

Jon had butterflies in his stomach. He stood up.

“You be her, I’ll be you,” Russell said.

Before Jon could say anything, Russell’s lips were on his. Russell’s tongue licked Jon’s lips and Russell’s hands found Jon’s waist.

Jon opened his eyes and saw that Russell was really going all out on this kiss.

He started pulling away and Russell stopped kissing him. “See?”

Jon was in shock. His first kiss... was to a guy. This was terrible.

*

Jon walked through the door with his date.

All the lights were off in the flat, so he presumed Russell had either gone out or gone to bed.

They had some drinks on the sofa, and then she leaned in to kiss him. Jon panicked slightly, but remembered how Russell did it so expertly. He gently pressed his lips to hers and gently ran his fingers along her arm.

They made their way to Jon’s bedroom.


End file.
